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Limerick poetry

Welcome to the Limerick poetry archive section of my portfolio. Limerick poetry is a form of poem that originated in the 18th century. It was used by poet Edward Lear and in recent time has been hugely popularised. Specifically it is a form that is centred around humour, often dry and sarcastic. Some Limericks can be obscene. It has a rather strict rhyme scheme (aabba). It follows quite a strict poetic meter in formal poetry which I struggle to understand but I believe that as long as it holds true in spirit and sounds like a Limerick, it counts. Though i will state how I understand and use it.

Line 1 – 9 syllables (a)
Line 2 – 9 syllables (a)
Line 3 – 6 syllables (b)
Line 4 – 6 syllables (b)
Line 5 – 9 syllables (a)

 

Here are my creations.

There is a chicken from Kentucky
The blighter is feeling quite lucky
Avoid the butchers knife
Peck the eyes of his wife
The grateful butcher spares lil’ clucky

What the hell is that thing flying by?
Rocketing like spear across the sky
Trajectory curving
I’m already turning
No impact, i guess that means I’m high

My bone is broken in three places
I keep pulling these stupid faces
I writhe about in pain
I am going insane
Forgetting my airs and my graces

There once was a nice girl from the town
She had an awful depressing frown
All of the boys would run
It sure was not so fun
As the poor girl in sadness broke down

The donkey has to walk on the beach
All of the children pay ten pence each
To break the donkey’s back
With an almighty thwack
Move faster the children would beseech

There once was a fighter called Pitbull
In the ring he was quite a hand full
A featherweight warrior
His moves they were clever
But the larger opponent crushed his skull

The window is clearly quite dirty
The neighbours are getting quite shirty
With my lack of respect
But what do they expect
From a single man just turned thirty

There was this bullock over the fence
The animal was known for being dense
So I got dressed in red
Jumped in laughing then fled
Aborting all manner of common sense

I am always the contest winner
I am clearly the stronger swimmer
The others pull me down
They try to make me drown
But I am also a damn good kicker

I would like to tell you a story
Of my quest for eternal glory
I fought with a dragon
In a distant cavern
But that was the end of the story

There once was a struggling florist
She got her flowers from the forest
Then the town council learned
What this old bitch had earned
So they taxed the struggling florist

If I had a ten million pound
I think I’d struggle to get around
For windows would shatter
And people would scatter
Buildings would collapse onto the ground

My monkey was feeling really sick
So I thought I would show it a trick
I picked up a shotgun
This game is so much fun
Such a shame the monkey wasn’t quick

I can’t seem to finish this sentence
Because a lady is in my presence
She is saying take me
I’m trying to break free
But can’t concentrate in this instance

There once was a bush that was burning
Inside the bush two birds were hurting
They begged for a stone
To break wing from the bone
“Make it quick,” the birdies were chirping

In the congo the apes were chanting
In the trees the chimps they were panting
With a gun in his hand
Hunter stalked through the land
Danger close the apes they were ranting

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